Crap Chat!

Braddon's Crap Chat

This page has been created to honour the inane, though sometimes classic, banter that happens whilst out in the field of play at Marchmont.

In previous seasons, it has come from mostly one man - James 'Jon Tickle' Braddon. He has the ability to spout the most over the top comments that leave most people cringing. However, fair play to the man, his banter has been known to lift spirits (or at least make them turn in their graves) and at times can be priceless. But it is not just James...oh no...Dave Sutton and Chris Durling have come out with a few belters.

If I have missed any other classics the list, then just fill out the form at the bottom

Now to enjoy some of the lines...

1. Give him a piano, he might be able to play it.

2. There are more edges out here than a hexagon.

3. If he stays around any longer, he'll get a parking ticket!

4. Be my hero Will.

5. Like a gazelle on acid.

6. All over him like a bad suit.

7. He's not imflammable.

8. More jam than Hartleys.

9. When I make an effort, I look hot (?!?!)

10. Lept like a salmon....John West!

11. Let's sort out those onions!

12. Do they have fishing in Fife

13. Let's have his castle.

14. Bet he swings both ways...

15. Just like the Phillipino!

16. Going down faster than Jordan's knickers.

17. Give him a flute, he'll only blow it.

18. I'm feeling a bit sick...like I've just got out of bed wth my sister...

19. What you looking at fat boy..?!?!

20. Tighter than a crab's arse at 50 fathoms.

21. (to Braddon) Button It!

22. More green than gonhorrea

23. That's a terrier ball...

Dave Sutton

Chris Durling

James Braddon

Nick Wheelhouse

James Braddon

SMRH 4th XI

James Braddon

Nick Wheelhouse

Dave Sutton

Graeme Clement

Colin Smith

James Braddon